Thursday, June 2, 2011

Rester's Remorse

As I've gotten older I've learned some things about myself. One is that I don't know how to pace myself. I never have. I'm full throttle until I pass out. Yesterday was the pass out kind of day.

So perhaps my problem is, like, 60% not pacing myself and making time to rest, but 40% is not knowing how to say "no". I say "yes" to everything and everyone, all the time. The problem is, I want to say "yes"! I want to spend time with family and friends. It's not until I get home and see the piles of laundry, and dishes in the sink, and the new ant invasion which seems to happen if any particle of food is left on the counter for more than 3 seconds. (This is on the heels of the mice infestation, which we thought we had taken care of, but we have not. uhhg.)

The really hard part of a day like yesterday is that it's great- I feel much better, I had such a splitting migrane and just felt so run down and just slept and finished my book and rested all day, but...I feel so guilty about it! (I think we may be hitting on something here.) I literally can not sit down for two seconds without feeling guilty that I'm not doing something that needs getting done. Am I a total freak or do other people do this too? I don't know were it stems from (cough:raisedCatholic:cough:cough), I used to spend lazy weekends around the house as a teenager all the time. My mom and I used to watch home rennovation shows all day, and I never once felt bad about it. It's all this "adult" responsibilites crap. There's always something to clean or something to cook or something to do, always, and I'm never satisfied.

Any tips on how to make time for rest without feeling bad about it?

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