The Honeymoon Phase

I am still so much in the Honeymoon Stage...

It might not really seem like it from the outside.  We've entrenched ourselves back into reality.  Committed ourselves to work.  Come home late to crock pot dinners. End up soaked in dish water, cleaning solutions and sweaty from trips up and down the stairs with laundry, only to crash into bed at night and do the same the next day.

Our 1/2 hour TV show at night is the closest resemblance to a "date" most days.  But still...

...I am so in love with this man. I know he's my husband. I know I am officially Danielle Eaton now.  I know we are going to spend the rest of our lives together.  I know we are going to build and family, and a home, and a life together, but it doesn't feel surreal.  It feels so normal.  It just feels right.

Still beaming,





You don't have to Like them, but you do have to Love them.

It's been a busy week so far.  I am so looking forward to tomorrow night and celebrating Brandon's birthday in Portland! I've got a busy, packed day Saturday and hopefully some chill time with football, friends, and good food on Sunday.  Last Sunday night we had Kate, Jason (and Jack!) over for a fire in our new fire-pit in the backyard and some apple crisp.  Well, it was supposed to be apple pie, but Hannaford had literally no pie crusts left.  There's like 3 different brands of them and they were all gone.  They were all out of Hannaford's brand chili powder as well, so I had to buy the more expensive name brand.  I guess it's fall and time for pies, chilis and stews! mmmmm We "settled" for the apple crisp and vanilla bean ice cream.

Heart Apple

This week has been very busy with work as well.  I'm on my last two weeks at Encompass while transitioning over to full time with Lewiston Auburn Magazine.  The magazine has recently relocated to a newly renovated space on Lisbon Street.  Here's the LA Mag team cutting the ribbon!  We're sharing the space with Captive Elements Art House, which is of course, right up my alley as well.  The folks at Captive hold art nights where everyone gets together to hang out and make art.  I'm really looking forward to getting more involved.  Ever since High School I've complained that I stopped painting, I stopped dancing, I stopped acting.  I stopped doing all those things I love and that bring me peace and serenity.  Hopefully I can get back into some of things!

So on a less uplifting note, I just can't get Jamey Rodemeyer off my mind.  Nate and I were watching the news last night and learned of his suicide due to bullying.  I watched his "It Gets Better" video and it just breaks my heart.  We started talking about it, especially if we want to have children.  It terrifies me to bring children into this world that they might have to be subject to such cruelty and hatred.  The thing that's terrible is that I said "if our kid were being bullied like that I would call that bully's parents!" but the reality is, if a kid in high school is behaving that way, they have most likely been behaving that way all their lives, therefor their parents are either feeding into and supporting that behavior or refuse to admit it and choose to remain ignorant to it.  I'm not sure which is worse. 

Rodemeyer mentions Lady Gaga a lot in his video and is set to be buried in his "Born This Way" T-shirt.  Nate and I always fight about Lady Gaga.  He thinks she's a freak.  She's a little too dramatic, even for me, but I always defend her artistic choices.  I like to remind him that he listens to (and likes) Jason Aldean's song "Dirt Road Anthem" of which lyrics include "we like cornbread and biscuits, and if it's broke round here we fix it".  Not exactly a lyrical mastermind if you ask me.  He couldn't even come up with another non-starch food product? Really? I still hold to my argument that Lady Gaga is the Jimi Hendrix of our time, as far as dramatics and pushing the artistic limits are concerned.  And today, I hold even more respect for her for what she does to support those who are different.  She marches to the beat of her own drummer and stands as role model for others to do the same.  She was an inspiration for Jamey Rodemeyer, though she alone wasn't enough.  There's has to be justice for kids like Jamey.  Bullying has to be taken more seriously.  There's silly teasing, which every kid partakes in, and then there is hateful, heartless, lethal bullying.  There is no grey line between the two.  No one deserves to be treated that way, not even the bullies themselves.  My mother always said "You don't have to Like them, but you do have to Love them" because every human being is deserving of our love, tolerance, acceptance and understanding.

Equality

Much Love,

Back to Reality...

 Is this real life?

Life has been a little crazy lately, to say the least.  I'm always saying that aren't I? Life's so crazy, blah, blah, blah.  But no really, for real this time.  The first big-un I suppose would be the fact that I am now Mrs. Eaton. :) It hasn't totally sunk it yet.  I say "my husband" easily enough, but have botched my name every time I'm asked since then.  "My name's Danielle Sicotte. I mean, uh, Eaton!" I sound like a crazy person, haha!

I realise I haven't written much about the wedding here, and that's because I started a separate blog just for the wedding.  Please visit it and read much more about all the little details.  The next big thing that's happened for me, is that I have accepted a full time position with Lewiston Auburn Magazine.  It's bittersweet.  I've come to love working at Encompass Marketing, my co-workers and bosses are awesome and I love the work we do, but at the end of the day you have to do what's best for you and your family.  Nate will be 26 in December and kicked off his parent's health insurance.  We've looked into getting insurance for him, independently through his business, but it was out of this world expensive.  Being a carpenter, he's not in the line of work where he can go without health insurance, so a full time job offer with benefits was like manna from heaven.  Plus I'm really excited about getting more involved with the magazine.  I think it will be a perfect outlet for my creativity (and OCD) and be a lot of fun. 

Desk

I'm not sure what this photo has to do with anything, but it's what came up when I searched for "desk" and I really liked it.  Why was I searching for pictures of desks? Because I'm obsessed with organization and it makes me happy. I thought we've been over this already...

I am not a multi-tasker.

One thing I most certainly know about myself: I am not a multi-tasker.  And in my book, that's ok.  It actually kind of irks me when people brag about their so-called multi-tasking skills.  I think it's all a big fat lie.  Lately I've had a lot on my plate, between working two jobs of which I have many responsibilities, and planning my wedding (which is in 18 days. *gulp*) I've got a lot of balls in the air.  Because of the time frame I'm working with, everything is top priority.  There is no "I'll get to that tomorrow".  So I find myself suffering from newly developed attention deficit.  I'll be working on something for 15 minutes at the most, before something else pops in my mind and I have to stop, pull out my notebook and jot it down on it's appropriate list.  That will remind me of something else that needs doing, that will only take a second, so I start on that.  But wait, there's something else.  By the end of the day I feel under-accomplished, since all I seem to have done is make lists and be continually distracted.   

A.D.D.

I've heard a statistic that 80% of creative people also have O.C.D.  Maybe that's why just looking at pictures of clean, pretty, organized rooms like this one make me feel to happy.  I think this is supposed to be intended for a little girl, but I want this room.  I want an office/dressing room-giant closet/craft & sewing room like this some day....

Pink Room

What we talking about again? Oh, multi-tasking, right!  I wish I was one of those people who can just be crazy busy all the time and have 100 things going at once at not be bothered at all by it.  But that's just not how I work.  I need my ducks in a row.  I need to take my time, focus and check and double check everything.  I need it all delivered in a clean, pretty package.  I can't stand messiness and disorder.  I guess don't need those things, I just want them.  

Look Good Doing It

And sometimes, you just can't have them.  Sometimes you just have to keep going at 100mph, hoping a break is in your future, using every last bit strength you have to do the dishes at the end of the night, and not stress out if you don't have time to blow dry your hair in the morning.  Embrace messy hair:

Messy Hair

Later Lovecats,



The Face of Desperation

I've been in a really weird, bad, sad mood as of late. I know it has to do with the fact that for last year I've been killing myself working two part time jobs. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, especially the worrisome/compulsive in nature. There's a difference, too, between a job that carries a lot of responsibility and the work doesn't end from one day to the next, like my two jobs, and something like waitressing where you aren't as personally responsible and you clock out and your work is done. Perhaps working one of each kind wouldn't be so bad, but two of the former is just too much.

Contemplate

It kills me that I work so hard and earn so little. I'll be earning even less as one of my part time jobs is ending. I'll now only be employed part time. I'm stressed. I know we won't starve or anything, as Nate is still making good money, but it will impact our day to day life. We'll eat more spaghetti for sure. Great. So I'm the hunt for full time work (with benefits, please!), my problem is twofold: 1. there's very little out there 2. I just don't know what to do with myself.

It's less the stress of reduced income, it's the fact that I don't know what to do. I feign indecision often, but really and truly most of the time I knuckle down, figure stuff out and make bold decisions. These days, though, I'm just lost. I'm starting to question the past few years and my decisions, and that's not a great feeling. I'm realizing, I've focused on Marketing as of late because it's easier for most to understand and a commonly (though often incorrectly) used term. Then I remember: I didn't major in Marketing, I minored in it. I majored in Advertising, and I chose it because it is the creative arm of Marketing. It's not ROI and Sales Projections; it's copy writing, concepting and design. Problem = Lewiston/Auburn isn't teeming with creative Advertising work.

Pretty Pink

So now what? (Pretty organized office spaces make me feel better. breathe. breathe.) I need to be creative, I need to be challenged and I need to be on the move. I like to work with people on a personal level, but don't like the salesy, insincere B.S. I'm jealous of my former college mate who now owns a sustainable catering company just outside of Boston with her sister and friend. They cook incredible, sustainable, locally grown meals, serve local brews in mason jars and look like they have so much fun. I also love reading blogs, one in particular, A Beautiful Mess, always inspires me. This lady and her sister started a shop together - she collects and creates vintage and vintage inspired clothing, crafts and home decor. Her sister has a little bake shop where she sells cupcakes and bubble tea. They now have an online store to sell their goods and are so incredibly creative and succeful. I just don't get it. How do you just decide you want to do something one day and then do it?

I love to cook, though I didn't really grow up being challenged culinary-ily, so I'm still learning so much. I love to create - paint, craft, sew, etc - though I never really give myself very much artistic credit. I was voted most creative in high school and earned the art excellence award, but didn't pursue anything creative really, because, again I just have a hard time calling myself an artist. I am super organized when given the time and motivation. Like creepily I get a high off just looking at overly organized spaces - hence the previous picture.

Be Yourself

Any of these things sounding like a career path to you? Let me know if it does, cause I sure as hell don't seem to know what I'm doing - and for the obsessive, organized planner, this is painful for me. Relieve me of my pain, please.

On a totally different note, I was able to accompany Kate on her ultrasound appointment yesterday, and it was SO COOL! We got to hear the baby's heart beat and see it's little head and body and where it's arms are growing. I've got the ultrasound picture hanging on my fridge, I'm so pumped for her and Jason!! yaaaay!!

Tiny Toes

So if you've got any ideas on that job front, let me know! Pretty pretty please....

Later dudes,

Thanks of the Week

The blogging community always reminds me to quit my belly-achin and be thankful. If you want to do something, then do it, and be thankful for what you have. So I'm going to try and be better about spending more time reflecting on the things I do have, and the blessings of my life, rather than the bad/depressing/stressful stuff. So to start my weekend off right, here's what I'm thankful for this week:

1. These ladies. They, along with my mother, God mother and an assortment of aunts and family members, threw me the most beautiful, cutest Central Park themed bridal shower ever. (Click Here for the Central Park explanation.) They clearly put so much work into my shower, and so many lovely family and friends came. Though terribly uncomfortable by being the center of attention, my MOH and bridesmaids threw a beautiful shower and deflected the burning gazes as much as possible.

Snow Cone Cat

2. Summer Time. And this funny picture. We've had so much rain lately, I just try and take in as much sunlight as possible (...on my way to and from my car in between jobs...)

3. This little girl, Miss Grace. She's Nate and I's God daughter and she is just the most precious thing. She'll be turning two this weekend and will be becoming a big sister later this year. I'm so thankful for the Behne family and love them to bits!

Moustache Baby

4. On the topic of babies, I am so, so, so eternally grateful and hopeful for my best friend Kate, she's having a baby!!! yay!!! She's been struggling with conception for the past three years, and had some tough times (you can read more about her on her blog: A Bushel and a Peck) So, this pregnancy is a little nerve wracking and while I'm anxious, I am also so hopeful and pray for her and her little baby every second. I want my little niece or nephew to make it here so I can hold him or her in my arms....and put fake moustaches on them. :) Yes, Kate, I am going to do this to your children. No, I don't care if it's a girl or not, I'm taking moustache pictures of them. haha!

5. Last, but most certainly not least, my soon to be husband. He has been so great and supporting through this wedding planning. (He stuffed all the invitations himself when I wasn't feeling well.) Though he works 7 days a week and is constantly giving of himself to everyone else, he tries his best to make time for me and help me no matter how tired he may be. And that's why I'm marring him. Ekkk! I'm getting married!! yay!

Rester's Remorse

As I've gotten older I've learned some things about myself. One is that I don't know how to pace myself. I never have. I'm full throttle until I pass out. Yesterday was the pass out kind of day.

Passed Out.

So perhaps my problem is, like, 60% not pacing myself and making time to rest, but 40% is not knowing how to say "no". I say "yes" to everything and everyone, all the time. The problem is, I want to say "yes"! I want to spend time with family and friends. It's not until I get home and see the piles of laundry, and dishes in the sink, and the new ant invasion which seems to happen if any particle of food is left on the counter for more than 3 seconds. (This is on the heels of the mice infestation, which we thought we had taken care of, but we have not. uhhg.)

Do Not Disturb.

The really hard part of a day like yesterday is that it's great- I feel much better, I had such a splitting migrane and just felt so run down and just slept and finished my book and rested all day, but...I feel so guilty about it! (I think we may be hitting on something here.) I literally can not sit down for two seconds without feeling guilty that I'm not doing something that needs getting done. Am I a total freak or do other people do this too? I don't know were it stems from (cough:raisedCatholic:cough:cough), I used to spend lazy weekends around the house as a teenager all the time. My mom and I used to watch home rennovation shows all day, and I never once felt bad about it. It's all this "adult" responsibilites crap. There's always something to clean or something to cook or something to do, always, and I'm never satisfied.

Hammock

Any tips on how to make time for rest without feeling bad about it?

Reminders.

Why I am a squishy peice of clay.

I am a squishy peice of clay. Soft dough, a blank canvas, an empty page and I'm not afraid to say it. And furthermore, I want to stay that way.

Dough

In reflecting on myself, my strengths and weaknesses I often find myself saying "I'm a social chameleon! I can blend into my environment and get along with most anyone." Then rescinding on that like it's a bad thing. Who wants to admit they change themselves to suit those around them? That just makes you seem like you don't have a personality of your own, or that you don't stand for anything.

Blank

But that's not what I mean. I mean that I am pliable. I miss being in school, because I love learning. I love learning most anything. I love the challenge of not knowing how to do something, and spending time working on it until I do. What a satisfying feeling.

Empty Page

Why is it then, in the employment world, I never stop hearing "experience". You need more experience, don't have enough experience, experience, experience, experience. Gah! It's making me crazy. How shortsighted is such a comment? I find a blank canvas, unmolded clay to have so much more potential, so much more value than something already created. I'm not saying you should paint over a Monet, but come on, how many Monet's come your way. A Bob Ross maybe, some local painter who is pretty good, sure. But why settle for something already established and "ok". Wouldn't you rather the soft squishy clay you can mold to your liking? Furthermore, where's the value on passion, on energy, on creativity. These values seem to have gone out the window. All my life I thought they counted for something, and I'm not getting that feeling these days.

Play, Dough

I'm just getting pretty tired of trying to fit myself into such narrow molds. Who wants to say they are done shaping themselves anyway? If you've no room left to grow and reshape yourself, whats the point of that? If your not growing and moving and learning, what's the point of living, because that's not living.

"Intellectual growth should commence at birth and cease only at death." Albert Einstein